Happiness

im awake at a time that I don't want to be because my brain wants to be so im going to blog about pointless shit hope its good but I wont know because Im rambling with one eye open and not using punctuation at ALL so hold on tight everyone out there who has a life and doesn't even know my blog exists I really wish I knew wtf I was going to ramble about but I have no fucking clue and I have a potty mouth which if you could hear my voice sounds hilarious because I sound like an eternal little girl im SO tired and my bed isn't even comfortable or maybe im not comfortable idk wtf im talking about I need drugs to put me to sleep holy shit I love this song its so fantastic for sleep if I could sleep but I cant sad face fuck you brain I just want to sleep FUCK YOU I cant believe I stopped blogging I love talking to no one its what I do at home all the time why not do it on the internet too I mean wtf YOLO bitches oh wow I cant believe I just said that im not one of them when im tired am I oh who gives a shit not me I only give a shit about sleeping and that's not going to happen so fuck it well im going to go be a real bad ass like that winey ass little bitch bella and take some unneccsary Nyquil and maybe that shit will help if not ill be back in an Arnold shwarz-a-whatever voice im out

I know this is childish and stupid but I need to say it and I cant talk to anyone else about it because they don't understand. I don't understand what's wrong with me. my school went on a field trip today and there were girls younger than me and two girls in my grade who were getting guys numbers. guys from other schools were just meeting these girls and giving them their numbers. getting to my point I didn't get a number or even have someone ask for mine. I don't understand. what could possibly be so wrong with me that no one even wants to talk to me. and I know that this is cliché but when I do like guys they don't even know that I exist. I have liked one individual at my school since the second day of school in September and I started getting him to notice me but then a backstabbing whore who goes to my school swept in and took him. by the way this backstabbing whore has a boyfriend already, but that never stopped her from taking people I care about before so why should it now. I just don't get any of it. what is wrong with me that no guys notice me and if they do its not in the way that I notice them. why do I always have to be left alone and hurt? why??